Category Archives: Friends

Let this New Year mean something…

Standard

It’s now mid-February (and no, I can’t believe it either) and truth be told, I am already a bit exhausted from the festivities which started pre-Christmas (yes, these are happy events but they can be exhausting and you know it), and the attempts at cranking the engines on the work front now that I have clearer goals to shoot for.

However, in this moment of reflection, I realise much of the fatigue I am feeling is largely sadness… and about wishing the people I care about were not suffering. It’s uncanny and not funny at all, that in the recent weeks, four people I know well had been diagnosed with, or died because of, major and chronic illnesses. Sadly, this is four more on top of the others who are already ill from months past…

A relative has full blown Stage 4 cancer, my oldest friend from childhood has just been told she is in the early stages of breast cancer, another relative overseas was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy two days ago, and I found out an ex-colleague is grieving from her husband’s sudden passing from a massive heart attack. No goodbyes were said of course, in this case, so you can well imagine the shock to the family.

illness and spiritual journey

I apologise if this post is a bit of a downer. For me, confronting realities and taking action while we can, making preventive decisions – and most certainly while we are ‘well’ is what it’s all about!

The reality is that today’s lifestyle of the ‘Wired and Tired’, ‘Overfed and Undernourished’ and ‘Stressed and Scared’ have wreaked havoc with our health and have distracted us from what’s important.

Most people take good health for granted, and actually think that if I am not ‘sick’, I am OK. The absence of disease doesn’t mean that you are healthy and living at your best. Adam Levine sang it best in his song Nothing Lasts Forever. There’s this line that has stuck in my head since I first heard it which applies to many things in life, and is certainly relevant when we think about our wellness: “… just because we haven’t hit the ground, doesn’t mean we’re still falling”.

Remember, great health is not something you wish for, it’s something you work for.

May this new year give you fresh impetus to work on your most Luxuriously Healthy Life. Your best health cannot wait.

Do reach out if you need help to get you going.

Sally
Wellness Whisperer

 

Eat not just to fill…but to fuel!

Image

This is one of the easy-to-remember sayings I hope will stay with you for a long time…so you see chances everyday, throughout the day to do right by your body. It is trying its best to do right by you – striving for balance, repair and strength – for  you.

When you view what's on your plate with a new lens...you assert the choice to take care of yourself!

When you view what’s on your plate with a new lens…you assert your choice to take control of your wellness!

National pride…and so much to be grateful for!

Standard

Yes, we’re weird. We speak Singlish*. We are kiasu**. We queue up for the most inane things – fad foods (bubble tea, anyone?), Hello Kitty and Despicable Me toys (really!). We have a love-hate relationship with the debilitating heat we live in. We think 26 celsius is cold. We have parents who tutor their kids so they can get into brand-name tuition centres so they can get into brand-name schools. We pay through or noses for our cars. We eat to shop….

Yes, we admit to all of that and we’re still so proud to be uniquely Singaporean living on a little red dot of a country on the world map 🙂

Celebration time! Yeah!!

National Day

* Singlish = Singaporean form of monotonous, rapid fire English with generous sprinkles of Malay, Tamil and Chinese dialects thrown into the mix.

** Kiasu = Chinese dialect, meaning literally “scared of losing”.

Rediscovering my Humanity

Standard

I had the wonderful privilege of witnessing up close, a masterful and caring psychotherapist (Dr Richard Erskine) in action for 3 days over the recent weekend, and now, am finally coming up for a long breath of cleansing air…

There were many Aha! moments, to be sure, during those few days packed with insights from someone who has lived and breathed a life of helping people work through issues and crises. And in those moments I feel most humble, human and alive. One such illuminating moment was when we discussed about the dominant, universal needs people have that cut across boundaries of age, race, gender, geography, sexual orientation, et cetera. I guess most of us in our personal moments of discovery, know that we are unique yet we share many aspects of our humanity and needs with our fellow earthlings. Same same but different, I think you know what I mean.

The eight dominant ones we talked about were the universal needs for security (to feel safe), validation (our thoughts and feelings matter), protection from a wiser, older presence, to rely on someone, for shared experiences (to help us feel connected and understood), self definition (not about being labelled by others, but being aware of our own personhood), for agency and efficacy (to be able to impact and influence), to have someone else be the initiator (need to feel someone else reaching out to us) and…before the 8th need was talked about, I thought I knew the answer to that one!

Surely we all have a need to be loved right? It was just too obvious.

Devoted to honouring me.

Devoted to honouring me.

Then when Dr Erskine said, “And finally, we all need to express love…”.

It took me a few seconds to check that I heard right. Express love, not get love?

He talked about a real need we each possess to be thankful, show appreciation to others, God and the Universe, and this can only happen when most of our psychological needs are met and we feel abundant inside, and hence, able to express and give genuine love.

I finally understood. The Aha landed. If the first 7 needs are pretty much taken care of, then we will already feel love. There will be no need to go around seeking love separately as if it were hanging around as an ingredient to be plucked from somewhere mysterious, in order to complete us. “Did I not receive the memo when it was sent out and missed out on getting some love? Shit.”

When we howl and cry for love in our loneliest, deepest, darkest moments, aren’t we really crying out to feel safe, validated, heard, to be understood, to matter, to be protected and not simply loved? When someone says I love you – what does he/she mean? What do you expect that love to mean? And, what are we prepared to give and show to those we love so that they can rely on us, feel validated, secure, listened to, connected and whole, not simply loved?

Isn’t life a wonderful journey and aren’t we fascinating?

Stay in awe.